Don't Bother Grading Those Physics Exams

Grab your towels, yo. A clique of European scientists think they've measured sub-atomic particles moving faster than the speed of light.

Obviously, physicists throughout the world are wetting themselves in terror, disbelief, and complete and total skepticism. Probably, some body or some thing fucked this up. Besides, everybody knows CERN's accelerators are total party accelerators.

If this is a real deal and not just some Antonio guy messing with us, then Einstein's view of the universe (ahem, our version of the universe) will come crashing down like so many baby carriages down the Odessa Steps. (Obviously, now that Einstein's just some dude with a broken theory, I get him confused with Sergei Eisenstein, just like I confuse Wayne and Issac Newton.)

Dodgeball in the future is gonna be fucking intense. I plan on going there in my time machine to check it out. Well, that assumes that future president Calvin Coolidge doesn't fuck with my TARDIS.